Is it worth it?

It's 6.30am in the morning, can't sleep and the blogging feel just got in. So blog sajalah.

Life has been tough recently, I did so much yet I was still treated like a fool. This is the most stressful moment in my life, so far. Every I woke up and I ask myself why am I doing this? Is this worth it? Everyday kena fu*k, diu, kan, diao, kongkek, taruh and you name it, and I've been F inside out upside down. Life after my injury was devastating.

Many kind of faces I get to see daily, many types of characteristic, and many "kind" of human I would face everyday. Who's the Good ones and Who's the Evil ones. I just can't see it. I hate to say this publicly but I have to admit, I miss my Diploma mates. We are like family, share the same views and everyone seems to work together nicely.

I thought I would be happy after being elected as the Course Rep and one of the Leader, but what is the use of being a leader yet people are "shooting" from behind? Talking cock about you just because you're not in the same batch as them. And yeah, thats the kind of world I'm living with everyday.

I experienced a funny guy came to me and told me that, "I have a lot of contacts you know? I know alot of things that happens around, you think I don't know, I actually does know a lot". I was like WTF is wrong with this guy? Save your contacts and grandma stories with your Mom. I'm not a place for you to talk cock.

My ex-boss used to say, " Never argue with a fool cos he'll bring you down to his level and beat you with his experince of being a fool at that level". Nice quote Jess. *clap*

I get to know lots of funny people after joining APR. Some are pure jokers which is real funny and some are pure PITA (Pain in the ASS). Get to know few new good friends and kinda a lot of enemies. LoL. Maybe my "get to know a new friend is better than getting an enemy" theory doesn't seems to work anymore. I'm making more enemies compared to friends. WOW!!!! I'm like Johnny Depp now, The Public Enemy. "It is easy to be brave from a safe distance". That's my message to all those @55#0|3 that thinks they are so good.

My fast and BAD temper seems to be coming back, I get frustrated and emo easily. I promised to changed my bad temper but sometimes things are getting out of hands. Sometimes there really are monkeys that really push me to the limit. I felt like slapping those GDMFs. I try to be as lenient as I can. I respect everyone's decision and opinion. But who's respecting me? The lenient I am the higher they climb up my head, and some even shit on my head. Is it really my leadership skills are that bad? Seriously this is the first time in my life I'm saying this. What on earth is hapening to me?

ARGHHH!!!! Nothing seems to be right. Whatever I do there will always be something wrong somewhere. All I want is get things done, I was Fu*ked because of someone else's mistakes. Seriously I'm really tired of all this. Felt like switching to HELP, hopefully they can HELP me from all this rubbish.

It's 7 already, leaders' meeting at 8. I just hate weekdays. All I'm hoping now is get back to the field ASAP, the place where I belongs to. December 12th is my MERDEKA day, hopefully my knee conditions is OK, this week is the 4th week I skipped physio. Sacrifise so much for being treated like a rubbish. Is it worth it?