It was a hectic day, full of surprises. Good and Bad. This is like a KO punch in my face. Complaints from here and there. Top, bottom, left, right, internal and even EXTERNAL. Yea, its all definitely the 'effect' of SOS Earth. All I want is to make sure SOS Earth is capable of at least match Movie-ing Ahead and TLC. APR under Josephine and Cherry did a great job on their respective event. I just dont want APR to lose their credibility of handling events after I lead them. SOS Earth was a success as what everyone can see, but it's like a nice, clean and comfortable jamban but all the pipes underneath it are actually stucked and jammed. I've did my best, give all out I can and what I thought I did was for the sake of the event, but end up BACKFIRE.
Yet again, I was fucked by OTHER department's members because of their miscommunication with their leaders. What The Fuck do you guys want? God Damn It, for FUCK sake why can't all these assholes think outside of the box? It's just a minor problem and yet it was like everything to them. I was so close (SO FUCKING CLOSE) to give those assholes a slap on their face. The leaders, all of us, work our ass off for all of you guys and yet just because a small minor shit you guys take it like the World is ending. We are humans too, we have the same level education as you guys. If you yourself can assure you won't be doing the same thing, why don't you guys take the job at the beginning? Why must you talk cock all the time? If you can't do shit besides talking cock, JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP and hide under your grandma's skirt.
The best of all, I got complaits from the EXTERNAL. Boy, they really know how to act. Learn a lesson from this event, people sometimes can be over-creative of what they do. Or should I say Whenever one is in trouble, the best solution is to throw a black sheep to cover the shit. Never judge a book by it's cover. Sometimes I do really agree with this. Just seriously very dissapointed with all those so called experienced people. Speechless.
Maybe it's all my fault. Face problem. Anger management. Maybe I don't even deserved to lead as no matter what I'm still an outsider. Seems like the word "I'm Arrogant" will forever stick on my face. Fuck it. Everything is just out of my control. A wise man used to say, "To solve a problem, start by asking yourself, what you did wrong". So I guess before I counter back anything its better if I improve myself.
All I'm having in my mind is to switch to another college or maybe continue with my career. Finally, I do gave up. Sometimes, its good to surrender. No more "I want to win because I dont want to lose" spirit, its just fading away. no more Together Everyone Achieves More semangat in me. Everyone is busy saving their own ass and pointing each other. Maybe thats PR, maybe thats just my assumption. Maybe?? Maybe all this while I gave it all out for SOS Earth was something wrong? Maybe?? Anything will always be a MAYBE??
As what I've posted in my Fb few days back, it is human's nature to be Greedy. Maybe my quote was right. My faith for all this is fading away day by day. I thought I could fix it but seems like I just can't make it. Maybe switching to HELP with my mates would be a better way. Sometimes giving up earlier is better than being defeated worse at the end. I admit I'm a failure in this. I just can't take it anymore. Life is getting hectic day by day, time by time. I don't see any true friends anymore.
Fuck all this, I screwed my friendship, I screwed my life yet again, I SCREWED MYSELF.
Yet again, I was fucked by OTHER department's members because of their miscommunication with their leaders. What The Fuck do you guys want? God Damn It, for FUCK sake why can't all these assholes think outside of the box? It's just a minor problem and yet it was like everything to them. I was so close (SO FUCKING CLOSE) to give those assholes a slap on their face. The leaders, all of us, work our ass off for all of you guys and yet just because a small minor shit you guys take it like the World is ending. We are humans too, we have the same level education as you guys. If you yourself can assure you won't be doing the same thing, why don't you guys take the job at the beginning? Why must you talk cock all the time? If you can't do shit besides talking cock, JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP and hide under your grandma's skirt.
The best of all, I got complaits from the EXTERNAL. Boy, they really know how to act. Learn a lesson from this event, people sometimes can be over-creative of what they do. Or should I say Whenever one is in trouble, the best solution is to throw a black sheep to cover the shit. Never judge a book by it's cover. Sometimes I do really agree with this. Just seriously very dissapointed with all those so called experienced people. Speechless.
Maybe it's all my fault. Face problem. Anger management. Maybe I don't even deserved to lead as no matter what I'm still an outsider. Seems like the word "I'm Arrogant" will forever stick on my face. Fuck it. Everything is just out of my control. A wise man used to say, "To solve a problem, start by asking yourself, what you did wrong". So I guess before I counter back anything its better if I improve myself.
All I'm having in my mind is to switch to another college or maybe continue with my career. Finally, I do gave up. Sometimes, its good to surrender. No more "I want to win because I dont want to lose" spirit, its just fading away. no more Together Everyone Achieves More semangat in me. Everyone is busy saving their own ass and pointing each other. Maybe thats PR, maybe thats just my assumption. Maybe?? Maybe all this while I gave it all out for SOS Earth was something wrong? Maybe?? Anything will always be a MAYBE??
As what I've posted in my Fb few days back, it is human's nature to be Greedy. Maybe my quote was right. My faith for all this is fading away day by day. I thought I could fix it but seems like I just can't make it. Maybe switching to HELP with my mates would be a better way. Sometimes giving up earlier is better than being defeated worse at the end. I admit I'm a failure in this. I just can't take it anymore. Life is getting hectic day by day, time by time. I don't see any true friends anymore.
Fuck all this, I screwed my friendship, I screwed my life yet again, I SCREWED MYSELF.
3 comments:
Wall, everyone experiences dat. Me too! I've been so so so pressured bcos i was facing wat u r facing rite now too...
There's no more "true frens" in my dictionary now. Though im tryin my best to be better or BEST, no one knows! no one cares! they jz care about THEMSELVES! selfishness! 4get bout those f-kers. We cant control how n wat do ppl say, but we can choose 2 ignore.
Just do watevr u like! be urself!
U study for ur own, not them, not anyone! Dis is wat i always tell myself.
chills,
-mic-
don't care what ppl think abt u..just do what u want to do..dun think too much la...life goes on!!
Hope to see you next sem until the end!!
Cheers!!
Your senior told me about this blog.
On the topic of truth:
The truth hurts.
But the truth sets you free.
Conflict is good. It separates the true from the false.
I'm not talking about friends or fakers.
It boils down to choices -truthfully- what you want.
For me, I've always believed in the adage:
"Not knowing what you want is OK;
as long as you know what you don't want."
It has made it easy for me to make my choices.
I wish you, your studies, life -and your foot- well, Wallace.
Mr.Chuan
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